Last Night

I woke up remembering dying last night a mosquito in my bed

Then, as if a shift occurred, other than my husband that is

Gave me more than redundancy, as if

My job was not done when I wanted it to be.

My legs and arms, the balm on my lips became, be it an angel

Or some strange spiritual matter braided two and two by four

Then hugged me tight while I took a piss, it was

The only moment I was alone, the stall.

Had I missed the thought to holler, to stop, to wait, to get on, to go?

The day turned year but it was different then, it was the beginning

Not the end.  I’ve been petrified since you see of missing it, as I always do

And just as I watched it leave, that was the moment that I decided death.

I lay down on the sofa, legs sprawled, smoked lips and hands

And felt the great tension of relief rise and fall, sinking

The air and sounds of the world muffled around the beat, beat, beat

Of my heart, the only thing ringing in my ears was dying.

Oh, what great joy to rest alone on one sofa cushion, thinking

goodbye tonight.

I woke up remembering dying last night a mosquito in my bed

Then, as if a shift occurred, other than my husband that is

Gave me more than redundancy, as if

My job was not done when I wanted it to be.

Instead, I got up and took a run around the pavement, trees

Pushed the air inside your lungs will stretch into something more than

Pity the man who I pass on the park bench, drinking beer at morning

You are my friend are me and I am you and I pass you by shifting, I

There is much to be said about the routine of living.

Putting your hands to mold meatballs or almond cake, combing a child’s hair

Your hands don’t know you were once an angel, they’re human hands

To pass on with words but with breaths and pauses, we pass on too.

I thought I had chosen this night but then again, you came holding me

Handing me life, don’t want it, handing me another day, for them

Dear Angel of light, twisting and turning on my left eye

Don’t come to my door if it’s not really time, please, come only if—

I woke up remembering dying last night a mosquito in my bed

And in the morning I made a promise not to write one more word unless

It flowered.